ricksparks . blogspot . com

Happy PBTOWADOWIICRITABGHCFOTMUFASTIAWMFARSOSFWHOWATSWTMIAVIOTBBAHOSBNRTDVBNRSHCPTVRIWD!

2011-04-25T00:30:00.000-07:00

Here's hoping you had a nice People Believe The Only Way A Deity Of Which It Is Claimed Revealed Itself To Ancient Barbaric Goat Herders Could Figure Out To Make Up For A Supposed Transgression Involving A Woman Made From A Rib Snacking On Some Fruit While Hanging Out With A Talking Snake Was To Magically Impregnate A Virgin In Order To Be Borne As "His" Own Son (But Not Really) Then Die Violently (But Not Really) So Humans Could Pretend That Vicarious Redemption Is Wonderful Day!

I had baked ham.

At least one person does not want me to post this

2011-04-05T01:06:00.001-07:00

Nothing I've written here supports atheism. In fact, the derision you cast toward the concept proves it's what YOU are really fighting against. I'm merely pointing out that the scripture you adhere to has a weak spot which, if one is honest, proves that translation means everything.

You might as well have written, "How DARE you prove the origins of Islamic scripture are not as secure as some people would choose to lead you to believe!"

>> atheists love to shout about how they dont need religion them to teach them morals.

I challenge you to identify one single child who did NOT learn that the right to haphazardly swing a fist did not end at the end of another person's nose.

>>I wonder what your father would think

Awww.. really? You'd go so far as to attempt to create doubt by making illogical claims regarding a father whom I've made clear many times actually died long ago due to cancer?

You're pathetic. A lot.

P.S. Your username sucks. It *totally* doesn't make me think you have at least three more.

===

Here's where this belongs.

I'm in this book!

2010-12-07T17:19:00.000-08:00

I'm very proud to have been selected to be a part of the "Atheist Bliss" book which is available now, right here. The photographer does wonderful work.

Happy Chanukah! aka... Yeah, RIGHT.

2010-12-02T14:44:00.000-08:00

"There was only enough consecrated olive oil to fuel the eternal flame for one day. Miraculously, the oil burned for eight days, which was the length of time it took to press, prepare and consecrate fresh olive oil."

Yeah, RIGHT. I really trust a tome which also claims bats are birds, insects have four feet, and that sheep and/or pigeon blood somehow helps a person suffering from leprosy.

An (admittedly poor) attempt to draw an analogy for those who identify religion as important in their live

2010-11-15T16:13:00.000-08:00

Imagine you are a fish.

From the time you are conscious, you see other fish. And crustaceans. Etcetera.

They're all trying to eat each other. They're hungry. You're hungry. They're driven to thrive, to reproduce, to create more creatures just like them. Eat. Swim. Mate. Spawn. Eat. Swim. Die.

But not to convince other creatures to be like them.

Whales don't want abalone to be like them.

Dolphins don't want whatever they eat to be like them.

Yet, here we are... humans... with minds that crave similar opinions or, if one is honest, the ability to see that what a person is capable of accepting is completely reliant upon that person's ability to think logically.

Now, imagine you're atheist. It's not hard to do: Christians, you're atheist about Islam's "Allah." Jews, you're atheist about the character "Jesus." Muslims, you believe the deity of the so-called "Holy Bible" is an aberration designed to trick others.

And just one step further, someone like me.

I don't vote because I think a "god" loves me.

I don't act because I think a "god" believes one group of people is better than another.

I simply see a lot of people drawing lines which, when one gets down to the study of DNA, are based on such insignificant properties that one gets...

... well...

... a bit weepy.

At the prospect that a good portion of our species' conflicts have been the result of exaggerated divisions.

I think I've failed at drawing an analogy between a complete non-theist such as I and the character of a person who thinks the religion he or she has been taught, cajoled, and/or lead to follow is important. What I do hope, however, is that this post has led you to think.

Damn You, Hunter S. Thompson

2010-11-08T22:28:00.000-08:00

A Letter to Hunter S. Thompson, Seven Years In The Making:

Damn you.

You fucking ASSHOLE.

We needed you.

We needed you to identify what Bush Jr. was doing in only the way you could. Yes, you probably blew your wad tearing Nixon apart.. but DAMMIT man, we NEEDED you.

We needed you to tear apart the nonsense Cheney was able to pull.

We needed you to fight.

You quit.

I understand WHY you quit.

I get why Johnny Depp paid for your ridiculously cool funeral.

But you fucking ruined whatever amount of heroism I attributed to you.

Asshole.

Love,

Me.

P.S. May the Great Magnet be kind to you.

"Atheist Bliss" - The Book

2010-10-19T15:37:00.001-07:00

I may be featured in the book "Atheist Bliss" which is scheduled to arrive November 11.

Huzzah!

Thoughts On 9/11 - Nine Years Doesn't Feel Like Nine Years

2010-09-11T12:51:00.000-07:00

The madness of the terrorist attacks on United States soil via jet airliner does not seem to be nine years ago. Rather, a few key points - combined with the fact that every second of my nearly forty-three years alive is less a percentage than the previous one - makes the date thrive in my mind.

1. Osama bin Laden has still not been captured (nor his body discovered in a pile of rubble).

2. Homegrown terrorists have felt empowered enough to take advantage of the very liberty they decry for others by threatening the creators of the "South Park" television show over a supposed visual depiction of their so-called "prophet."

3. A fundamentalist Christian church headed by a criminal whose members barely total fifty can garner national media attention for weeks just by mentioning their desire to burn a Qur'an (aka "Koran" for the less initiated), leading to a preponderance of salivating by those who would love to use such an event as a recruiting tool.

4. George W. Bush has been proved to have been a puppet of members of his administration who may not have been involved in conspiratorial planning but who most certainly knew how to take advantage of the opportunity to grab power when such a thing presented itself.

5. U.S. troops are still in Afghanistan, Iraq, and other parts of the Middle East.

6. Pakistan is about as stable as my first ex-wife.

7. Saudi Arabia and Iran's support of terrorist activities in the Middle East, as well as that of the Saddam Hussein regime, has not only been flagrantly identified, but the thuggish ability of the latter country's leaders to violently quash a mostly peaceful uprising of their own youth suggests similar future (or current) activities are far from being simply theoretical.

8. The majority of civilized society still sees nothing wrong with teaching children to believe in a deity which not only has been proven to be a fictional character based upon an amalgamation of all the deities invented by humans prior to the time ancient Canaanites first wrote the five chapters of what led to the existence of Judaism, Christianity, and Islam, but it fails - time and time again - to account for the fact that all three versions of faith (as well as their literally thousands of variant forms/translations) include calls to kill those who do not follow the same "god" as each religion's adherents (horrendously amusingly, there are those who try to decry those who do use the text to inspire or enact violence as "radicals").

9. We still have nothing but an empty space on the former grounds of the Twin Towers.

Nope. Doesn't feel like nine years at all. I feel as if we've been swimming in a vat of congealed shortening, barely able to move forward and unlikely to see precisely what is in front of us.

I hope the next years' total number of strokes result in what at least feels like forward momentum.

Anger 1 Letter Short Of Danger

2010-09-08T17:55:00.000-07:00

Why, yes... I did write a short note to Reverend Run of Run-DMC after receiving an unexpected message from him.

Will update here if discourse continues.

Facebook is stupid

2010-08-21T03:09:00.000-07:00

Seriously.

Their spell check doesn't know how to spell President Obama's first name.

Evidence.

Idiots!

First he sliced off her ears. Then he started on her nose.

2010-07-30T06:19:00.000-07:00

Afghan Women and the Return of the Taliban

(via Time Magazine Online)

BANNED from Christianity

2010-07-19T03:26:00.001-07:00

Who would Jesus ban?

Apparently me, according to some who control discussions about modern Christianity.

I've been banned from engaging in discourse in the Christian section of my favorite social networking site.

I must admit, I expected it to happen in the Islam area first.

Link

"Climategate" review clears scientists of dishonesty over data

2010-07-07T10:16:00.000-07:00

Turns out they're just guilty of being defensive, secretive, uncooperative jerks.

Guardian (UK) Report)

Rachel Maddow is in Afghanistan

2010-07-06T21:57:00.000-07:00

Wake up, people.

Watch

Composer Video Demos

2010-06-28T17:15:00.000-07:00

I've been writing music for scoreless movie scenes as part of my studies and found the time to upload a few. Would love to know what you think!

http://ricksparks.com/scenes

Concern

2010-06-15T23:31:00.000-07:00

I'm focused on the intellectual progress of our species. What are you primarily concerned with?

Help Stop Religious Harassment In Rehab Programs

2010-06-10T15:32:00.000-07:00

The Secular Coalition of America has set up an action page which allows you to contact your representative(s) and let them know you want religious harassment in rehab programs halted.

From the site:

So-called “charitable choice” provisions also allow the direct funding of houses of worship with your tax dollars. They are given carte blanche to perform secular social services without having to separate taxpayer money from the funds they receive from their parishioners for strictly sectarian purposes. Before “charitable choice”, all religious institutions and faith-based organizations were required to set up separate 501(c)3 nonprofit organizations to which taxpayer money was directed. This money could then be audited by the federal government. Since 1996, faith-based organizations no longer have to allocate the money they receive from the federal government in a 501(c)3 – they can literally keep it in the same account as money from the collection plate!

New Music Cue - "Breakbeat News"

2010-06-09T16:24:00.000-07:00

I've been refining this piece all afternoon. It's gonna be pitched for a news program. Feel free to let me know what you think of it.

Rick Sparks - "Breakbeat News" (links to online music site thesixtyone.com)

"Right" and "Wrong"

2010-05-29T03:18:00.000-07:00

To be certain; the "right" in the country I reside in (the United States) likes to pretend calling themselves "the right" for the mere convenience that it infers they are correct. That, in itself, is no small assumption; it means everyone else is wrong, no matter what they say or do.

Even my ex-wives were right about some things.

The "left," so to speak (write), has been trying to distance themselves from such juvenile distinctions yet are attempting to define themselves by a term which is the converse of an inaccurate assessment for, as far as I can tell, spans over forty years.

In 1992 I stated, quite clearly during my unpaid college radio show in Anchorage AK, that my country is a receivership based upon bad credit for which no one is holding the lien. The economic catastrophe which culminated in the 2008 "bailout" (as well as the current Chinese policy of buying up U.S. debt as quickly as possible in order to devalue their *own* currency) proved me correct.

In 2010, the "right" will learn that the crazies in their party (you know, the ones who think Rand Paul and Sarah Palin are "smart") outnumber the sycophants, and that the general populace (rightly) abhors them.

Mark my words.

Fuck BP

2010-05-27T17:11:00.000-07:00

As long as BP continues to act irresponsibly/illegally, I will be avoiding their gas. Here are their brands:

http://www.tinyurl.com/2do8ca3

Ten Days, Thirty Minutes A Day to Prove Zealots Wrong

2010-04-25T19:55:00.001-07:00

I just ordered the Pimsleur Approach to learning Eastern Arabic in ten days (used by the CIA and FBI) and am looking forward to mind-fucking people who make the idiotic claim that I can't possibly understand their religious outlook because I can't read the text in the original language.

I Know I'm Not The First To Ask This

2010-04-23T11:47:00.000-07:00

... but it bears repeating.

Where is the condemnation from so-called "moderate" Muslims regarding the acts of threats & terrorism carried out by those who claim to adhere to the same religion as they?

I've decided to ask that of folks in this forum who claim to follow Islam. So far... no good.

Now THERE'S something you don't see every day...

2010-04-10T11:08:00.000-07:00

WHY do I not have one of these spare tire covers?

Oh, yeah...

A) I don't have a car
B) I have taste

(source)

File Under "Glad I'm Not You"

2010-04-08T18:22:00.000-07:00

A lot of times you can gauge the state of your life by the acts of others.

I'm really glad I'm not the guy whose existence is so pitiful that he found it necessary to carve things on a public restroom toilet seat.

... and, I just had an awful thought...

He probably used the same knife to carve an apple later.

An Eye For An Eye? Not So Fast

2010-03-14T23:14:00.001-07:00

For most of my sentient life, I have thought murderers should be killed. IMMEDIATELY.

Bullet to the brain. Two, preferably.

Two in the head, you know they're dead.

But not recently.

As a non-theist, it is quite clear to me that there is no proof there is any form of consciousness beyond that which we currently enjoy.

Hence, a conundrum; Kill murderers, and they enjoy what is essentially a commuted sentence.

Think about it.

You're a killer.

You kill.

You are killed.

End of story.

Or.....

You're a killer.

You kill.

You are kept alive for as long as humanly possible, to think about what you've done.

If this were CrazyLand, I'd recommend removing the brains of murderers and keeping them cognitively active for as long as funding allowed.

So, yes... I'm atheist (as if there were any question by now). And yes, I've called for the instant death of cold-blooded murderers in the past.

No more.

Of course, since we are at a point in human history when cost-effectiveness is important, it is likely that the debits between execution and jail time need to be weighed....

But there we are.

A quip about the GOP response to Obama's first State of the Union address

2010-01-27T19:48:00.000-08:00

The fuckwit governor from Virginia stated all "innocent human life" should be protected.

As a theist, he should be aware of the fact that NO human life is deemed "innocent" by the scripture he believes in.

I hate hypocrites. A lot.

What will you do for Haiti?

2010-01-13T22:47:00.001-08:00

My main employer is over eleven weeks overdue with payroll. I'm frickin' 42 years old and had to borrow $1000 from my mother to make rent in January. I just donated $100 to the Red Cross to help relief efforts in Haiti.

What will you do?

An Article I Submitted to Consumerist Made It To Their Pages Today

2009-12-23T10:49:00.001-08:00

Best Buy's Buy Online, Pick-Up In Store Delays Made Me Regret Purchase

Short Silent Film - "The Perils Of Technology"

2009-12-15T13:25:00.001-08:00

My good friend of over two decades entered the Anchorage International Film Festival's "Quick Freeze" contest this past week. Participants were given less than seven days to produce an original feature based on a specific theme. His took second place (out of six). I was in the process of moving from one apartment to another but was able to complete music for it early Saturday morning.

Enjoy!

A Plug For My Favorite Show Not On Radio

2009-12-09T10:48:00.001-08:00

I'm not a paid shill. I just dig this podcast and want to share.

Atheist elected to city council in North Carolina

2009-12-08T16:19:00.001-08:00

Perhaps there's some hope for the middle parts of the U.S. after all.

Of course, his foes want to keep him out of office in violation of that pesky "separation of church and state" nonsense.

Story at Examiner.com

A Little Light Reading Tonight, Skimming Leaked Climate Change Documents

2009-12-06T21:34:00.000-08:00

You heard about this, right? A couple weeks ago I found this article and downloaded the zipped file of docs. It's about a hundred and sixty gigs unzipped, so it may take some time for me to review the entire thing. Here's a gem from June of this year:

"The fact that satellite & weather balloon measurements in the lower troposphere do not show a warming for the past 21 years suggests strongly that the surface data are influenced by proximity to human habitation, rather than by greenhouse warming." (Vincent Gray, Climate Consultant, New Zealand)

I kid, I kid!

2009-12-03T09:49:00.001-08:00

I joined iJoke.tv and plan to blog one joke per day. Thought you'd like to know. When I stop being lazy I'll put proper links up - perhaps one to the right and another on ricksparks.com

http://www.ijoke.tv/user/ricksparks/blogs

Laughs For Bald Bryan

2009-11-24T21:57:00.001-08:00

Adam Carolla and a bunch of great folks did a benefit for their friend with cancer last Friday. Check it out.

Laughs For Bald Bryan Podcast

Hacked Documents And Emails Point To Climate Change Collusion

2009-11-20T13:48:00.000-08:00

If the article linked below turns out to be completely true, a whole lot of folks who've lambasted my lack of abject fear regarding "global warming" over the past couple years owe me an apology.

Examiner.com

Stand-Up Comedy Show - This Sunday!

2009-11-20T12:36:00.001-08:00

(Click the flyer to make it bigger)

"Macro-Evolution is Macro-Nonsense!"

2009-11-17T14:46:00.001-08:00

.... so wrote one religious nutjob I was attempting to reason with regarding the fact that the biblical creation story is bunk.

One of the most ridiculous retorts I've received during the many "debates" (that term is used VERY loosely) I've engaged in regarding creationism vs. evolution is the following:

"Oh, yeah? Well, MACRO EVOLUTION doesn't exist! Only GOD can create life!"

Never mind the fact that no deity described by humans has ever been proven to exist, right?

The creationist adherent's concept of MacroEvolution is a waste of time for many reasons, not the least of which being that the ones I've encountered seem to believe the term means a species must exhibit a massive change in structure in order to qualify. That is NOT how MaE works.

This is how it works:

Darwin's finches tracked to reveal evolution in action

Fuck the Palin/Oprah interview.

2009-11-16T16:43:00.001-08:00

The real nonsense will come out during her interview with that fat idiot Rush Limbaugh tomorrow.

I'd Like To Thank All Veterans For Their Service. Unfortunately, Some Are Dead

2009-11-11T16:29:00.000-08:00

To those who are still alive: THANK YOU.

To those who are dead:

Being atheist, I hold no fantasy about you being able to recognize my appreciation of your sacrifice. There were many times in my life when the military seemed like it might be the right option for me, but for one reason or another it never came to fruition. I can only imagine if I would have ended up on a tour of duty which ended up in military success or the ultimate failure.

Many of you died because the leaders who sent you to fight did so for the wrong reasons. Many of you died because the leaders who sent you to fight did so for the right reasons. Some of you were killed by people who were supposed to be your comrades. Some of you were killed by the enemy. A great many of you were killed as a result of religious faith gone rampant.

No matter what the reason for your demise, I wish I could say just one thing to you:

THANK YOU.

It is your efforts and the efforts of your fellow service members who may or may not have also been killed which allow me to be outspoken, to be free to love whom I want regardless of skin color, to allow others to be with whom they want regardless of gender, and so forth. You can't hear my gratitude if I say it, you can't read it if I write it...

I do so to inspire those who are alive to think about it, to think about the loss of life which can never be regained, and to strive to make the world a less violent place.

By the way, folks... I think we need to stop using the term "Happy Veteran's Day." I realize this is a product of prefacing every national holiday with a "Merry" or a "Happy," but let's think for a moment: There's nothing happy about war, no matter whether it involves victory or defeat, and too many veterans are suffering effects which we still barely understand to sully their lives with such a trite conveyance.

Much respect to veterans living & dead.

From The Tenant In The Unit Below You

2009-11-10T13:57:00.000-08:00

To: Tenant / Apartment 223
From: The Tenant In the Unit Below You

Dear Neighbor(s):

Thank you very much for halting the pounding noises which startled me from sleep yesterday morning a little after 6:30am. I regret that I have not yet met you in order to convey such thanks in person, but I often find it difficult to do such things at the many times they occur. I work, study, write, and strap on headphones to compose music at odd hours. Hence, I am usually sleeping or winding down when it sounds like someone is trying to pound a hole through the ceiling over my one-room home.

I realize there’s nothing you can do about the fact that prior to your moving in, someone in building management thought it would be a good idea to put wood floors in units which clearly do not have appropriate sound insulation. Perhaps that person had an affinity for the reverberated sound of tap dancing? As it is, I am not complaining about the sound your footsteps make as you walk across the floor. No, this missive concerns the occasional repetitive pounding & slamming (which, again, I thank you for halting when I eventually cannot stand the noise and decide to knock hard against the wall or ceiling). I respectfully request that the pounding cease. It is beyond agitating.

I would be remiss if I did not also mention that whatever the scraping noise is which comes from your unit from time to time sounds like a self-propelled anvil is grinding through the walls in an effort to crush me and/or my girlfriend. (Perhaps it is after both of us? You never can tell with living anvils, they’re a secretive lot.) Or perhaps it is a closet door which maintenance could fix, or maybe a table that needs a nice set of felt feet? At any rate, I am forwarding a copy of this letter to apartment management in case they need to prepare for any possible work order you may submit to them. I find their maintenance staff to be quite helpful.

I want you to know I considered asking you to not slam your door, causing the walls around our door to vibrate as you enter & exit your unit, because it seems nearly everyone in this building enjoys doing so. I would feel persnickety singling you out and I’m honestly not sure if it’s you or the person next to you doing the slamming.

Please feel free to let me or my apartment mate know if any noise from our unit bothers your serenity & home enjoyment. Thank you very much for taking the time to read this. Now, to figure out how to ask the lady with the Harley who’s clearly damaged her hearing to turn her TV & radio down…

All my best.

Addendum (11/11): Received a message from the neighbor in which he apologized for the noise, indicated he'd be conscientious, and complimented my writing. Success!

Litmus: How To Define If You Need A Real Life

2009-11-10T02:33:00.001-08:00

... you act like this when your favorite team loses.

Sarah Palin Needs A Dictionary

2009-11-10T01:15:00.001-08:00

Sarah Palin's forthcoming book is titled "Going Rogue." Here is the definition of the word -

1. a dishonest, knavish person; scoundrel.2. a playfully mischievous person; scamp: The youngest boys are little rogues.3. a tramp or vagabond.4. a rogue elephant or other animal of similar disposition.5. Biology. a usually inferior organism, esp. a plant, varying markedly from the normal.

WHAT a DUMBASS.

Highlights From My First Stand-Up Comedy Show

2009-11-07T15:22:00.001-08:00

On August 29 I performed my first stand-up comedy show at the Westside Comedy Theater in Santa Monica, CA. Here are the highlights. Enjoy!

Jon Stewart Examines Glenn Beck's Organs

2009-11-06T13:48:00.000-08:00

If you're familiar with Beck's histrionics & outright lunacy, you'll likely find this parody as hilarious as I do. Which is to say... quite a bit. Enjoy!

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart

Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c

The 11/3 Project

www.thedailyshow.com

Daily Show
Full Episodes

Political Humor

Health Care Crisis

Homepathic Nonsense

2009-11-05T17:39:00.000-08:00

As a human being with a conscience, I can't stand it when people lie - and when people lie in order to make a buck at the expense of other people's physical health, they need to be confronted.

While visiting reddit today I noticed one of my fellow redditors was in a bit of a tiff involving a so-called "doctor" and a video in which this "doctor" makes a ridiculous speech about homeopathy.

Here's the YouTube video.

Now, since this woman's attorney has been reported to have threatened my fellow redditor (by way of a "friend") in a blatant attempt to quell the distribution of knowledge regarding the pseudo-science of homeopathy, it is possible the YouTube video will be removed.

In order to keep a record of material which may be in the public interest, I have saved an MP4 copy of the video here.

Share and enjoy.

Consumer Reports Finds Out Which Condom Holds The Most Air Before Exploding

2009-11-02T16:18:00.001-08:00

I guess that'll be useful information if I start breathing with my dick.

If Anyone Claims You Need To Believe In A "God" For Good To Exist, Show Them This

2009-10-13T14:59:00.000-07:00

Religion, Perversion, and Violence: Republican Gomorrah

2009-10-06T12:50:00.001-07:00

On Saturday I received notice that I qualified to renew my driver's license by mail. Included in the packet was a voter registration form.

I stared at it for a moment.

I thought about the fact that I have been a registered Republican during the decades I have been eligible to vote. I thought about the fact that I have been waiting, hoping even, that in the era of President Obama a stop would be put to the coddling of dangerous fringe elements by Republican leaders. At almost forty-two years old, I can no longer conscionably count myself a member of what the party of Lincoln has become.

I hold no illusions that the mentally deficient and utterly ignorant radicals who think health care is fascism, or that their country was somehow taken away from them, or that a fictional deity invented by goat herders living in Canaan about two centuries ago gives a damn whether or not homosexuals get it on will be repudiated by those in the party who need to do so. No, those leaders are too concerned with getting votes, and many count on jingoistic nonsense to carry them through the next election.

I checked NO POLITICAL AFFILIATION and the document was mailed on Monday.

This talk by journalist Max Blumethal contains elements which you may have already heard over the years, but when taken as a whole they become quite disconcerting and impossible to ignore.

A Plane Flew Into The World Trade Center - Thoughts On The Anniversary Of 9/11

2009-09-11T13:02:00.000-07:00

"What?"

The voice on the other end of the phone was my radio show partner. "A plane flew into the World Trade Center."

"What kind of plane?"

"They're not saying."

"Okay, I'll check into it. See you when you get here."

It was close to 5:30am Alaska time. I hadn't heard anything from the news department in the studio next door. I shifted gears. I stopped reviewing the comedy material I had planned for the day, loaded up the A.P. Newstracker, and clicked "Headlines."

"PLANE HITS WORLD TRADE CENTER"

I can almost remember the entry from memory, it was so short.

"An airplane has struck the World Trade Center. The extent of the damage is unknown. It is unclear what caused the accident."

I thought to myself. Did some knucklehead flying a small plane lose control or something? Did a jet hit some kind of turbulence?

Like most Americans, the thought that someone would deliberately fly a jet directly into an office building filled with civilians struck me as much more than appalling. Over the course of that morning, the entire goal was to get as much information to our station's listeners as possible. Then, over the coming days and weeks, as me and my fellow citizens learned more details surrounding the cowardly attacks, I grew angrier by the day.

We gave financial support to Osama bin Laden in the past. We supported the Taliban in Afghanistan against the U.S.S.R. and now they're our enemy. The leaders of the attacks used religion to inspire people to carry out the insidious events.

Still, I mentally and verbally supported our efforts to retaliate for the attacks. I supported the initial responses in Afghanistan. I thought going after Saddam in Iraq was a bit of a stretch but still a worthy cause considering his genocidal actions against people in his country and neighboring countries. I voted for George W. Bush (again) in 2004 over concerns that an administration led by John Kerry would portray the United States as weak.

I learned reports of WMDs in Iraq were intentionally fabricated. Then I started to learn a bit more about Dick Cheney's deceitful nature, about how President Bush's religious beliefs gravitated toward the scary notion that he was personally overseeing the "last days" as described in that book of fiction known as the "Holy Bible."

Again, I grew angry. As a (mostly) lifelong atheist, I find it sad that anyone can be so easily led by such nonsense. The fact that our president was in some ways controlled by the same kind of concepts which drove the efforts of the suicide attacks of 9/11 was maddening to me. Still, I believe in many ways that President Bush will be remembered by history for doing what will be considered the right things for the wrong reasons. Dick Cheney, however, needs to be put on trial for crimes against humanity.

.... but I digress.

In 2005 my work started to get in the way. I was unable to pay attention to politics in the manner I enjoyed. The people in charge of the radio facility I was working at decided to cannibalize a well-performing station in order to prop up a flailing format they had mismanaged. After many long hours of trying to make the scenario work, I found myself unable to remain positive in an environment of rampant idiocy. I quit, essentially tossing aside what had been a career over twelve years old. I started drinking alcohol more heavily than I had in the past. I found temporary work, first as a limosine driver and then as a door-to-door security alarm salesman.

In both cases, religion became an insidious issue.

While working for the limosine company, a husband and wife owned effort, I was constantly subjected to religious grammar. It was always, "Thank Jesus" that, or "Praise the lord!" this. I'd be waiting to be paid for my week's work and he would say, "Well, I don't know if you pray or not, but work's kinda slow. Would you like to pray with us for more jobs?"

"No, thanks. I've got to get home. You go ahead."

One day as I was waiting for a job sheet for an airport pickup, the wife stopped what she was doing at the computer. She turned in her chair, put on a grave, almost comically sincere tone, and said, "I've got to ask... are you Jewish?"

I laughed. "No, I'm not Jewish."

I'd seen their DVD copy of "The Passion of the Christ" on the fireplace mantle as I walked to her office moments prior. She was just SO concerned, as if my not mimicking her and her husband's religious comments meant I just MUST be a descendant of the people who supposedly killed her fairy-tale savior!

I ignored their religious idiocy (and racist idiocy, can't forget that) as best I could. Eventually, I left the job and found work as an alarm consultant.

Again, religion crept in. This time, it was my supervisor. We would be in a conference room filled with three or four people discussing the day's plans for canvassing a neighborhood. Out of the blue, he would look at someone, once me, and would blurt out things like, "Do you believe in god?"

When it was my turn to be attacked, I tried to joke about it. "Which one?"

He sneered, "YOU know which one."

I decided to let him have it. "If there IS such a thing as a god, I've never seen any proof of it."

"You have to BELIEVE. It's STUPID not to believe in god!"

I looked at him. I looked at the people around me. Faces were blank. "Well, time for me to go home."

I may be rambling a bit, but I'm trying to make a point. I have arrived at a time in my life when anyone who says, "Pray for work!" or "It's STUPID not to believe in a god!" or "God wants Saddam killed!" or "Allah will reward you with virgins if you kill civilian infidels!" are all the same to me. They are zealots and fools, bent on controlling others in a manner which utilizes fictional tales as a basis for action.

They are to be confronted at all costs.

As an atheist, I will NOT take comfort in the belief that religious zealots who behead journalists and/or kill abortion doctors will be punished in some kind of nebulous afterlife. I want enemies of freedom and civility punished in the only state of existence for which we humans have a single bit of proof for its existence:

In the here and now.

Oh, sure... believe a "god" loves you all you want. No one can stop you, and frankly I don't want to. Just stop pretending your belief (which I must remind you is based on a book which was started by a group of ancient Canaanites who were looking to cover up their violent past with a fictional one, hence the first five books of the "bible") gives you the right to tell others what they can and cannot do.

By the way, if you tell ANY child who is not old enough to read and understand the "bible" for him or herself that he or she MUST believe in a deity, you are guilty of mental abuse and should be punished accordingly.

I recently watched a lecture by historian and Pulitzer Prize winner Gordon Wood (it is linked below). In it, he covers quite a bit of U.S. history - from the founding of the country, to how our citizens attempted to spread concepts of democracy & civil equality throughout the world, to the invasion of Iraq, and many points in between. During one section he makes it quite clear that the idea of separation of church & state is so foreign to people of the Middle East that the best we can hope for during many years to come is to only provide the wherewithal for some form of stability among such people, in spite of our best efforts to promote democracy and the concepts instilled by the U.S. Bill of Rights.

I should point out one more time that I have been atheist most of my life. I had barely heard of Richard Dawkins and Christopher Hitchens just a year ago, and I find their outspoken approaches to subjects which have bothered me greatly during my life to be a breath of fresh air. I mention this because I want to make it quite clear I am no sycophant. The fact that we all happen to agree on the fact that organized religion is a detriment to intellectual progress and is capable of inciting abhorrent acts of bigotry & violence is no mean feat. The thing that is hard, at least the thing that has been hard for me for most of my forty-one years, is having the ability to point out such things without taking to heart being attacked or shunned in the most vitriolic of ways.

It is my fervent conviction that the less people on this side of the pond who give credence to those who think an invisible man loves them, the less likely people in other parts of the world will be able to use such beliefs to torture, mutilate, and subjugate their neighbors. I can vividly remember the day of 9/11/01 and most of the days which follow it. Like most Americans, I will never forget. Unlike most, however, I will not offer respite to those who continue to utilize religion for their selfish ends in spite of the fact that we have such a massive example of its detrimental capabilities.

Wanna Follow Me On Twitter?

2009-09-03T15:58:00.000-07:00

Of course you do!

www.twitter.com/ricksparks

Stand-Up Show in Santa Monica - This Saturday at 7pm

2009-08-25T10:35:00.000-07:00

That's a flyer. Click it if you wanna read it. Here's the skinny... I'm debuting my new stand-up act this Saturday night at 7pm along with some other folks who are very funny. It's in Santa Monica at the Westside Comedy Theater in the alley between 3rd and 4th Streets. If you park in the structure that's just south of 4th and Arizona head toward the alley and go right, it's the building painted black and red.

Tickets are only ten bucks and I guarantee you'll laugh a lot of you dig live comedy. Plus, there are plenty of good restaurants and such up and down the Santa Monica Promenade so you can make a night of it.

Banned From ANOTHER Palin Supporter's Site

2009-08-05T18:41:00.000-07:00

This is starting to become fun.

Two days ago I was banned from the Sarah Palin site on Facebook. I had barely posted a few messages regarding the way she uses religion to make jingoistic claims about war when I was removed from the "friends" list.

.... with friends like that, right?

Today I came across a blog titled SaberPoint. Here's all you need to know about it: It contains support for the ridiculous "Birther" movement.

The article on the site which garnered my attention was one about the possibility that Palin would sue a part-time kindergarten teacher for allegedly starting a rumor that Sarah would be divorcing her husband, Todd.

I engaged in a brief conversation over the course of a few hours with the host of the site and was, unsurprisingly, banned before I could finish making some valid points. Yet again, another fascist Palin supporter has cowardly shied away from honest discourse.

A zipped PDF of the conversation is right here. The host's username is Stogie. Enjoy the lunacy!

Sarah Palin Lies About The Tiniest Things

2009-08-04T12:30:00.000-07:00

I was kicked off the Sarah Palin Facebook page yesterday after only an hour of conversation. The exchanges were quite civil, but I guess I was making too many solid points. The fascist in charge blocked me from the account.

What's the name for people who are afraid of honest discourse? Oh, yeah... COWARDS.

Anyway, the incident made me recall this thought, which I'd like to share.

During her resignation announcement, she stated four of her children said, "Yeah!" and one said, "Hell, yeah!" when she asked them if she should take a different direction. (Never mind the fact that "Hell, yeah!" isn't exactly something someone who is a self-proclaimed Christian should be proud of, right?) During her final speech as governor, she thanked all five of her children, by name, for their support.

Would someone care to tell me how an infant with Down Syndrome could do either of those things?

A Question For Christians

2009-08-03T14:32:00.000-07:00

According to Christianity you are to LOVE your enemies, turn the other cheek, and receive your "reward" after death. How many of you support military/war actions directly or indirectly, and how do you justify the contradiction?

Homosexuals Are Animal Satanists

2009-07-11T12:31:00.000-07:00

The deranged reverend in this video is in desperate need of a mental evaluation.

California, Budgets, and Tasty Tasty Babies

2009-07-07T00:10:00.000-07:00

Jenny Pierce, bastard granddaughter of Mildred P. and Raoul D., reporting....

I saw it. I was there. The rat fucks are really getting away with it now. I barely got out with my skin attached.

It is no mere coincidence that Sacramento, California has the largest concentration of homeless people in the entire state. Where else are legislators going to get new babies to feed upon without upsetting the general populace?

"Mummy, why is that man with no shoes crying?

"His sign says he can't find his daughter of two. That lump laying next to him on the sidewalk resembles a woman, I'm not sure....."

Governor Schwarzenegger was cautious.

"BRING DA CAH-MUR-AHS INTO GUV-URHN-MENT! LEHT DA PEE-PULL SEE VHAT DEY-UR REPRAHSENTATEEVES AHR DU-EENG!"

This was not to be.

The "reality show" insult... effective in 1995, a clear indicator of the mentality we're dealing with now.

"Of course," the lead speaker from the assembly drizzled, "it stands to reason that a movie star of our chiseled governor's quality would LOVE to have cameras thrust into areas which the public thinks they have a right to observe. This isn't a.... REALITY SHOW......"

She wiped a bit of placenta from her chin.

"Excuse me for a moment."

An incongruently fat and bony finger presses the intercom: "Marsheeka, could you make sure the next baby comes blended? I'm feeling like a smoothie."

"Right away, ma'am."

"Now," she said as she turned her attention to me, eyeing my legs in a way that made me wish I had not worn a short skirt on this sunny day, "It is no surprise that our Austrian leader wants every average Californian to see EXACTLY what we hard-working legislators do in order to keep the budget crisis at the levels it is as. But I can assure you... no woman, no child, and certainly no man propelled by UCLA and USC would be able to handle the way each of us can devour freshly-born babies while concurrently using our state-funded laptops to Twitter about Michael Jackson's death. Why, it's been years since we let a cameraman actually cross into the room when we AREN'T here... what makes you think we're going to give up our inordinate salaries now?"

I was dumbstruck.

"But... the people... errr, taxes... the budget crisis... unemployment!..."

"NONSENSE!" she bellowed, burping up and then immediately swallowing an extremely tiny spleen. "NO ONE will care about these things in a few months. In fact, young lady," ... there she goes, looking at my legs again... fuck, she just drooled, "... if I were you, I'd focus on finding a human interest piece nearly immediately. There's a skate park nearby, maybe you could try that? As you can tell from my hairstyle, I'm not a person of caution, and if a word of this gets past these doors, you can guarantee you'll see the hottest side of a BBQ before you can say 'Civil Liability.'"

And with that, I left, knowing full well that she fucking meant it.

Hector Avalos: How Archaeology Killed Biblical History

2009-07-06T13:22:00.000-07:00

One of the things I am obsessed with (to the occasional consternation of my girlfriend) is the study of archaeological evidence related to what is generally referred to as the "holy bible." When I engage in debate/discussion with religious adherents regarding the errancy of the texts they believe in I invariably refer to the work of William Dever, Israel Finkelstein, and others engaged in the field of archaeology which disproves the voracity of the book's claims.

This lecture by Hector Avalos is interesting because he not only touches upon Dever's work as it relates to those who attempt to utilize the very untrustworthy "bible" as history, he also gives a bit of insight into the minds of religious scholars who know scripture is bunk but are too afraid of losing their paychecks to reveal the truth to the masses attending church.

Enjoy.

Perception And Prodding: Did I Bury Paul, Or Is It That I'm Very Bored?

2009-07-01T23:41:00.000-07:00

I remember very little about my eighth grade year of school. My father, who had divorced my mother almost a decade earlier and I had barely seen, died due to cancer. I don't know if I was in a fog because the time was so painful that I blocked most moments from memory as people going through what most would call a "life event" do, or if the raging hormones which were developing in me were clouding my perception, but there are few things I remember from that time. Flashes sometimes creep in, and while taking a moment to relax today I found myself thinking about perception and social studies.

I confront religious adherents on a fairly regular basis regarding the fictional nature of their beliefs. As I've written before, I've come to a point where I've survived and learned about what I consider to be too many years and too much history regarding religion's ability to addle minds with unfounded promises & outright lies, incite horrible acts of bigotry & violence, and limit humanity's intellectual progress. Today, however, a memory from that year crept into my awareness while I was considering the perception of a fairly eloquent sixteen year old who was writing to me regarding how he could not be "brainwashed" by religion since he studied it himself before choosing to be a follower and that he made his "own" choice to do so - albeit how convenient that his parents were of the same religion! - and that while he sometimes questions the voracity of scriptural stories regarding his faith, he's glad to be comforted by the church youth pastor who helps him through the tough bits.

Never mind the fact that when I asked him if he'd read the "bible" cover to cover, he said "No." Never mind the fact that when I asked him if his youth pastor had read the "bible" cover to cover that answer was ALSO no. He just KNEW that he'd been right to choose Christianity.

... but I digress.

The discourse got me thinking about my eighth-grade social studies teacher, Mr. Arashiro.

Mr. Arashiro was a small man, no more than five-foot-four. He wore simple wire-framed glasses, usually dressed in the same suit five days in a row (presumably to save on dry-cleaning, but I'd also wager it was a tribute to a trait I share with Einstein of buying multiple items of the same clothing in order to save brain power when deciding what to wear), and his thick, straight black hair usually looked as if it had not been washed for days.

I have to admit, I neither liked nor disliked Mr. Arashiro during the time I was his student. Being in the fog I was in due to depression over my father's death, combined with the raging hormones causing me to consistently notice that cutie Kari Hardcastle in the desk near mine, I remember very little from his class. However, one day came back to me vividly as I thought about the young man I'd been discussing religion with in a public internet forum earlier today.

Mr. Arashiro used to stand in the hall by the door to his classroom between periods. As the students entered and exited, he would sometimes talk to and/or throw pithy comments at former and/or current students as they passed. I walked in, he smiled as he usually did the times my eyes met his, and I noticed something unusual in his classroom.

A square, grey record player was resting on a small table in front of his blackboard.

I was very keen on music by the time I reached junior high, and I wondered what the device's purpose for being there might be.

I settled into my desk, placed my books in the storage compartment under my seat, noted that Kari's face & hair looked especially cute that day, and watched Mr. Arashiro close the door vibrantly with a short slam as I remember him usually doing when the school bell rang.

He spoke. He held up a copy of the Beatles record, "Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band." He explained that he wanted us to hear something but wouldn't tell us what it was. He played a portion of the record featuring multiple sound effects and voices at the end of the song "Strawberry Fields Forever." He paused.

"Now," Mr. Arashiro stated, "Listen to it again, and tell me what the man is saying when I point."

More garbled sound effects. The sound of a man talking, very unintelligibly, when he raised his finger.

"What was it?"

No one knew.

He said, "Listen for the man to say 'I Buried Paul.'"

He played it again. The scratch of the record, the sound effects, the garble of voices... there it was. The man was definitely saying, "I buried Paul."

Right?

Mr. Arashiro took another moment. He made it clear that we, as a class, had heard it incorrectly.

"Listen for the man to say, 'I'm very bored.'"

Wait a minute. He's right.

He repeated the exercise more than a few times, to illustrate the point.

Go ahead, get your copy of "Sgt. Pepper's" out and try it for yourself. It's nigh impossible to be absolutely sure which phrase the voice is saying. Beatles fans, as I learned some time later, have been dissecting the recording for years as it relates to a hidden story, a macabre "Easter Egg" as such things are called, whereby Paul McCartney supposedly died, was secretly disposed of, and replaced by a lookalike named Billy Shears.

The license plate on the "Abbey Road" album reads "28 IF," the age Paul supposedly would have been at the time of the release, and Lennon is dressed like a gravedigger, or so the legend goes... but again, I digress!

What Mr. Arashiro taught me at the age of fourteen was that in the absence of clarity, perception can be controlled.

Religious leaders will tell you the tingling you feel in what they call your "heart" is the touch of a deity. However, many have noted (myself included) that you also get the same feeling when a cool twist happens in a good film, or when an artist you like is playing a song you love at a rock concert, or when the person you've had your eye on tells you he or she loves you or wants to kiss you.

Keep in mind also, your heart has NO nerve endings Anything related to your heart is actually the constriction of muscles and/or blood pressue.

Unless mentally damaged, sociopathic, or utterly uncaring, most humans have emotions. We have emotional responses to much of what happens around us. If we are in a group and people are wailing and crying and saying they feel the "presence" of a deity, if we are inclined to believe in such a thing we may also feel such a thing.

However, no one has ever proven such a thing exists. In fact, what has been proven by scientists is that the muscles in the chest and throat contract when we are excited by something, and that we sometimes forget to breathe under such circumstances. The heart rate increases, pressure builds, and one feels a weight in the chest, neck, or face.

I can't help but notice that NO one has told me they have felt "god" in their hands, feet, or buttocks. FYI.

The first time I was told to ask "god" to come into my life, I did so with gusto. I believed the person who told me to do so for various reasons, and I described the event in an earlier essay. However, I felt nothing. When a warbling lady from the church I was at put her hand on my back and cried out to "god" to come into my heart (whatever that means), the only thing I felt was her hand on my back. But I am absolutely convinced that a person raised to believe in such a magical series of events could work themselves into an emotional state which results in the constriction/breathing problems described above and could most certainly convince themselves they felt the presence of a "god."

However - that does NOT make their beliefs true.

The young man I am discussing religion with on the internet believes he chose belief in a "god" of his own accord, but admits his parents have engaged in the very same religion he just happened to choose since before the time he was born.

I can't stop thinking about Mr. Arashiro flipping between orders.

"Listen for 'I buried Paul.'"

"Listen for 'I'm very bored.'"

Back. And forth. And back. And forth.

Here's the problem with religion, in a nutshell.... only ONE choice is given to young adherents; believe, or suffer.

It's quite easy to believe "I buried Paul" if that's the only choice you're told is the right one.

I'm very bored.

I really HATE discussing religion on YouTube sometimes.

2009-06-18T16:21:00.001-07:00

Maybe you can learn from my mistake.

I've watched religion addle minds with false promises, incite horrible acts of bigotry & violence, and limit humanity's intellectual progress for too many years. To confront people regarding the fictional nature of their beliefs, I sometimes visit the comment forums on YouTube. I suppose the following could be translated to mean I was pwn'd, but I find the whole scenario despicable.

One particularly fervent defender of faith wrote a comment to me that was almost complete gibberish. I noticed his profile stated his age as 28 and decided to ask if he'd been drinking. He responded by claiming I was accusing him of underage drinking. I pointed out his listed age made no indication he was a minor and asked his real age. He refused to answer and repeated his false charge. I asked him to put his parents in touch with me. He refused and repeated his false claim again. After a little time I made it clear I would no longer attempt to reason with an irrational child.

He wrote the following:

oh, so now im "irrational", why is that, becuase i wont let you talk to my parents or tell you my real age. the reason im not telling you my real age is because i have no idea if your somesort of crazy stalker. Kinda asking for some personal info there rick.

And now, as if by coincidence, I'm blocked from the forum.

I wanted to respond thusly:

Yes, irrational. Your profile said you're in your 20s. You typed a comment that made no sense. I asked if you'd been drinking. You claimed I accused you of underage drinking and repeated your claim even when I pointed out there was no way for me to know you were not the age your profile stated. I have no interest in stalking you. In fact, I'd rather you just leave me alone. I've asked to speak with your parents and you've refused to pass along the message. We're done, child.

But I can't. I'm blocked. I sent the message to the forum's owner but she hasn't responded yet.

The moral of the story, at least as far as I can tell:

A person who believes in religion will disparage the detractors of faith in any way, shape, or form; truth be damned.

(site of the carnage)

Addendum: A thought occurred.... If the person running the site is willing to block me, it's likely she'll have the audacity to delete my comments as well. Ah, yes... a PDF of the entire comment section will preserve things nicely.

Addendum #2: Hey, guess what.... I've been UNBLOCKED from the forum. I guess the operator decided not to be a fascist after all. Yay.

Addendum #3: Okay, now I'm blocked again. What idiocy this is.

Addendum #4: (6/19) For fun, I figured I'd try to respond to the twerp with the message I listed above one more time. After pasting the message into a reply box, YouTube's system indicated it did not accept the comment. I assumed I was still blocked and moved on to some other things. After a while I happened back upon the page and came across a message addressed to me from another user. Not noticing I was in the forum I was supposedly blocked in, I wrote a reply. A very strange thing happened. After I clicked "POST COMMENT," YouTube didn't indicate it posted the comment. Rather, the button stayed gray as if still working on it for quite a few minutes. I copied the page URL, closed the window, and re-opened it. The message I posted to one user appeared UNDER the message I described in this article. I deleted the message since it was not directed at the first person and attempted to recreate the error. Now, YouTube is back to not letting me post in the forum. WEIRD.

Douglas Adams: Parrots, the Universe, and Everything

2009-06-14T00:47:00.000-07:00

If you've got an hour and a half to spare, this wonderful talk by author Douglas Adams is well worth it.

Spare Some Change??!?!?!?

2009-06-06T01:20:00.001-07:00

There's a guy that asks EVERYONE (and I mean EVERYONE) for spare change most weekdays around 4pm near Wilshire & 3rd in Santa Monica. I was walking behind a group of tourists and this is what he said to them, shotgun style:

"Spare some change sir? Spare some change ma'am? Spare some change ma'am? Spare some change sir? Spare some change ma'am? Spare some change ma'am? Spare some change sir?"

... and of course, one for me. "Spare some change, sir?"

Fuck. Working at McDonald's would be easier.

What Do You Mean, Genesis 1 and Genesis 2 Contradict?!?!??

2009-05-29T15:14:00.000-07:00

I sometimes engage in what could loosely be called "debate" with religious nutjobs on that bastion of intellectuality known as YouTube. Today, for what feels like the millionth time, I was told that the contradictions regarding the supposed order of creation as described in Genesis 1 and 2 are just misunderstandings. As per usual, the person I was discussing things with said I was wrong. He then attempted to claim that Genesis 1 is about the actual creation, while Genesis 2 is only about "activity in the garden," or some such nonsense.

Here's the short version of the truth:

Gen1: Animals are made first, then humans.

... but!

Gen2:7 "God" makes man from dust.
Gen2:19 ... And out of the ground the LORD God formed every beast of the field, and every fowl of the air. Man complains none of the animals are suitable helpers.
Gen2:22 (THEN, "god" takes Adam's rib and) ...made he a woman.

Of course, the response I invariably receive after posting something like that is usually along the lines of, "You're reading it wrong!" or "You don't understand because scripture cannot be understood by those who have their eyes closed!"

... soooooo many fallacies in that last position.... and are humans really supposed to believe that MAN (penis?) was intended to exist, but not WOMAN?

But I digress....

Since I find it very annoying to have to post multiple messages due to YouTube's character limits in the public forums, I figured I'd delineate the discrepancies here for easy reference.

Feel free to whip out a King James version of the so-called "holy bible" and follow along, kiddies. My understanding is that Hebrew texts are similar.

What's that - you use an NIV, or some other edition?

Yeah, about that... those were edited to REMOVE contradictions and mistakes in the original text, including references to UNICORNS.

F.Y.I.

The Order of Creation Contradictions

Genesis 1

1. Heavens and Earth
2. Light
3. Heaven is separated from water
4. Dry land
5. Plants
6. The sun
7. The moon
8. Stars
9. Water-borne creatures
10. Birds
11. Land animals and creeping things
12. Man
13. Woman

Now, Genesis 2 makes vague allusions to things which were already described in Genesis 1 as well as elaborates on rivers and gold and rocks and such in a way that has no discernable importance, but then makes these claims:

1. Man was made before all other creatures from dust and placed in a lifeless Eden
2. Plants are created
3. Out of the ground, "the LORD God formed every beast of the field, and every fowl of the air; and brought them unto Adam to see what he would call them"
4. Adam complains that none are a suitable helper.
5. Woman is made from Adam's rib.

Sing along, friends.... "One of these things is NOT like the other...."

Random Thought

2009-05-29T14:25:00.000-07:00

Ignorance is not stupidity; it is just a lack of experience or knowledge. However, being willfully ignorant in opposition to reality should be a prosecutable offense.

Steve Harvey Thinks All Atheists Are Immoral

2009-05-26T04:22:00.001-07:00

The following is a letter I just sent to comedian turned religious zealot Steve Harvey. The video which inspired the missive is embedded below. I'll report back if I get an interesting response.

---

Steve: As a (mostly) lifelong atheist, I find it abhorrent that you would infer that people who are not religious are immoral. You made that claim on the Tyra Banks show recently.

Morality has nothing to do with whether or not a person believes in the existence of a deity or not. In fact, take a look at the total number of prisoners who have religious beliefs -- do so, and you will hopefully see it is dishonest to say atheists are the kinds of people who are inherently immoral. Obviously that's just one example. There are many more situations in which religion can lead a person to commit an immoral act that an atheist (or agnostic) would never consider as just.

Consider fundamentalist terrorism, the mutiliation of the genitals of children, bigotry & hatred based on sexual orientation & skin pigmentation, etcetera.

When you make claims that people without supernatural beliefs are bad, you're doing nothing but spouting moldy religious rhetoric that has been disproven throughout history. To claim otherwise is to speak from an ignorant position.

Thank you for your attention. I don't expect to hear back from you but would be happy to engage in discourse if you're interested.

Sincerely,

Rick Sparks
Los Angeles CA

Friday Roundup

2009-05-22T18:44:00.000-07:00

CNN is reporting one out of five adults admit to urinating in public pools. Four out of five are obviously liars.

Reviews for the new "Terminator" movie are not pretty. In my world, not only did James Cameron not allow a TV series to be made, he also wrote & directed "Terminator 3" and "Terminator 4." It's nice in here.

I need to find a better class of people to debate religion with. I've written "What part of fuck off don't you understand?" far too many times this week.

Speaking of religion... according to Genesis 2, the character named "god" made a woman only after the man complained none of the animals were suitable helpers. What is the point of being a man (PENIS!) if no woman had been intended to be around? And HOW, exactly, did "Adam" come to decide the animals weren't "suitable?" (This is the result when one leads a fairly secular life and decides to read the "bible" at the age of thirteen.)

I plan to take a moment or two this Memorial Day weekend to think about all the folks who gave their lives defending our country so we can enjoy things like this blog. In some of the nastier parts of the world, I'd likely be flogged.

The Missing Link Has Been FOUND

2009-05-19T12:25:00.001-07:00

Nails instead of claws. Opposable big toes. The shape of the talus bone in the feet. Next time someone tries to claim to you there's no evidence that humans could have evolved from an ancient primate, you respond with a hearty, "READ THIS ARTICLE" (from Sky News).

Random Thought

2009-05-17T01:38:00.001-07:00

Creation science = Chaste whore.

Friday Roundup

2009-05-15T17:24:00.001-07:00

There are reports that a man had to fend off a cougar attack this past weekend in the interior of British Columbia… he was gouged, bitten, and scratched. C'mon, folks... at this point haven’t we heard enough about Pam Anderson’s love life?

Donald Trump has decided Miss California can keep her title, despite the fact that she broke pageant rules by lying about whether or not she had appeared in any topless photos in the past. (Thank goodness, right guys?) Well, anyone who is surprised by this decision really hasn’t been paying attention. That hairdo and the orange makeup The Donald has been wearing lately don’t exactly scream, “I ALWAYS MAKE SMART DECISIONS!”

Did you hear that Iraqi militias are torturing gays? As if they don’t have enough problems, the crazies on the ground over there have decided that homosexuals are the worst of their problems. I'm straight and I've never understood the religious fundamentalist's hatred of homosexuals. If anything, it increases their chances of finding a decent girl to date - what with gay men being uninterested in women and all. "Oh, the guy with nice hair and big biceps only dates dudes? I guess that dude with pimples, one goat, and a beer gut isn't too ugly."

During a recent appearance Governor Sarah Palin of Alaska, former vice-presidential candidate Palin, announced that at one point during her last pregnancy she thought… about having… an ABORTION. I know, right? Unfortunately, I just don’t buy it. Am I really supposed to believe Sarah Palin thought about something?

You know, speaking of women in politics, are you paying attention to what Hillary Clinton’s been up to? It’s said that she’s been doing a solid job as Secretary of State after her meetings with leaders in Afghanistan and Pakistan to try and fix some problems there. She’s been doing her thing and of course that leaves her husband Bill time to do what he wants with his thing… so it all works out, everyone’s happy.

"Why We Believe In Gods"

2009-04-26T00:16:00.000-07:00

It's gonna be a little dry 'round these parts...

2009-03-17T13:45:00.000-07:00

Hello, visitors. While working days & submitting voice-over demos, taking improv classes, attending shows, and prepping stand-up material, I'm also working on three screenplays, at least one book, and am constantly crafting more instrumental music to add to my collection of compositions.

I'll be back here when I am. 'Til then, feel free to peruse ricksparks.com at your convenience. Have a great spring/summer/etcetera!

Two Outspoken Atheists, Tom Leykis and Adam Carolla, Are Currently Homeless

2009-02-20T17:35:00.000-08:00

... broadcasting-wise, that is.

At 5pm today my favorite Los Angeles talk radio station, 97.1 KLSX, switched formats to compete with every other station in the market that plays T.I., Justin Timberlake, and Rhianna.

Ugh.

They're both smart men, very talented, and will hopefully be back on the air somewhere else soon. Adam plans to start an online podcast come Monday at carollaradio.com.

Just for fun, here's a nice rant from Carolla regarding religion.

No, Really - He's Coming!

2009-02-09T11:17:00.000-08:00

Priest in the 3rd century: "The end times are near!"

Bishop in the year 700: "The end times are near!"

Cardinal in the year 1450: "The end times are near!"

Preacher in the year 1870: "The end times are near!"

Pastor in the year 2000: "The end times are near!"

You sense a trend yet?

Dawkins and Nesse - The uncut interview from 'The Genius of Charles Darwin'

2009-01-31T15:16:00.000-08:00

If anyone you know claims the human body is perfectly designed, refer them to this series of videos. If they refuse to watch them, tell them their choice to be willfully ignorant is very silly.

Another Unecessary Death - Thanks, Religion!

2009-01-22T09:50:00.000-08:00

Do you remember when you were twelve years old?

The little girl in this picture won't. She died at the age of eleven from a treatable disease. Where did this horrible event take place.... uncharted land in Australia? ... an African desert? ... the frozen tundra of Alaska?

No. Try the state of Wisconsin, in a city about 180 miles from the big town of Milwaukee.

No points for guessing religion was involved.

From the New York Times: "The county coroner ruled (Kara Neumann) died from diabetic ketoacidosis resulting from undiagnosed and untreated juvenile diabetes."

"Her parents, who believe that God alone has the ability to heal the sick, prayed for her recovery but did not take her to a doctor."

Her so-called "parents" need to be sterlized and banned from ever adopting. They obviously do not have the mental capacity necessary to properly care for a child.

Just yesterday I was debating many people who don't understand why I think religion muddles minds and limits intelligence. They claimed religion does "so much good" in the world.

That's certainly not the case here.

A Short Message To My Country's New President

2009-01-20T09:40:00.000-08:00

Mr. Obama: I am very glad you are the President of my country. However, I am not a "non-believer" - I am non-theist.

Other than that, nice speech.

CNN's Rick Sanchez Calls Out "Joe The Plumber"

2009-01-15T20:06:00.000-08:00

Excellent job, Mr. Sanchez.

The cheesedick, political-correspondent wannabe propped up by the idiotic McCain/Palin campaign as some kind of "hero" to the working class needed this kind of reality check. You delivered it to him soundly.

You also have a cool first name.

Why I Am Atheist - Part One

2009-01-14T10:49:00.001-08:00

I'm not sure if this is going to become a series of posts or yet another diversion which ends up unfinished. At any rate... enjoy!

"This is the paper the DEVIL wraps people in when he burns them!"

I was around the age of six when a child I didn't know exclaimed that as a bunch of kids were playing in the sandbox at my after-school daycare. Many kids were digging quite deeply, and it will come as no surprise that the black, rough paper he was waving about was actually material designed to keep the sand in the wood-framed box. I had a vague idea regarding what a "devil" might be, but wasn't as convinced as he was. When I told him that was just paper for the sandbox, he called me stupid and told the recess teacher I was being mean.

That night, I decided to find out if my family was "religious."

"Mom, what religion are we?"

The question seemed to surprise her. I've been told that I had a habit of coming up with extremely astute and surprising comments as a child. This must have been one of them. She thought for a moment and said, "We're Protestant."

This was the first I'd heard about it.

"What does that mean?"

"Well," she paused, trying to decide how to explain a nebulous concept that had never been addressed between us, "... it means we believe in a god but we don't go to church."

"Oh."

Ah, Mom. I gotta love her. She tried, I'll give her that. Interestingly, the concept of religion never really came up between us again. Thankfully, it lead to me not giving credence to the book of violent fairy tales known as the "Holy Bible," so for that I am grateful to her.

I was never taught that people believe in a "god" and only encountered the fact that other people believed on occasion and without consequence. When I was in my early teens, an aunt and uncle I trusted brought me to a church where I was told a "god" exists and that I must "accept him" to be "saved." Other kids were in the room and being encouraged to do so as well. So, I went up to the little altar (a half set of stairs in a small room with pews and a giant wood cross on the wall) and "asked Jesus" to come into my heart. I peeked at other kids and noticed they were doing the same thing. A loud lady I didn't know put her hand on my back and started crying out, "Save this child! Come into his heart!" and other such nonsense.

Afterwards, everyone was asked if they had been filled with the "holy spirit."

Everyone said yes together initially... except for me. I had always been taught not to lie, and personal experiences had led me to be very good at recognizing when others were lying. I was asked directly by adults, "Did you receive the holy ghost?"

I lied and said "Yes." I didn't want to disappoint them.

But I really felt nothing but contempt for the entire process. I knew other kids were lying but didn't have a way to explain it, still being an immature kid and all.

And yet, I gave "god" another chance.

I was reading so well by the age of four that my kindergarten teacher had me read to the class from time to time. I mention that fact because I credit my keen ability to pay attention to nuance and written explanation as keeping me from falling into the clutches of organized religions based on nonsensical myth.

I had been given a "bible" by my step-mother and, having developed the ability to skim massive amounts of text while being able to retain a majority of the information, I read the entirety of the "bible" before turning fifteen years old.

From the very beginning, the following discrepancy stood out:

Genesis 1 - "God" creates animals, then man.
Genesis 2 - "God created man first, THEN animals, THEN woman.

I couldn't help but notice that there'd be no point in being a man (penis) without a woman around, and found the passage describing Adam as finding none of the animals "suitable" as a helper quite dirty. I thought about whether or not other kids had noticed that, but it dawned on me that most of the people I knew who were religious had started believing "god" created everything long before they even knew what a penis was used for.

So, I kept reading, and encountered more inconsistencies and incongruous passages. "God" is loving, but he'll PUNISH YOU FOREVER if you don't do EXACTLY what "he" (he? not she or it?) wants. And the best way "god" could come up with to forgive all of humanity for supposed transgressions was to knock up a virgin with magic, to come to Earth disguised as "his" own son, and to die so humans can pretend "he" is in their hearts?

It was years later when I was made aware of the fact that for centuries only churches had a copy of the book did I realize it was never intended to make sense; it was intended to be "quoted" in order to tell people what to do.

An all-knowing, all-powerful "god" should have KNOWN that leaving the teaching of existence to a book cobbled together by mostly anonymous authors over centuries and controlled by humans who wanted power over other humans would lead to chaos and strife.

Since that first reading, I have amassed much more information regarding the origin of the "bible," examined evidence which proves many of its real-world claims to be either distortions or outright lies, and have not failed to notice that religion does three things very well:

"Divides people, controls people, deludes people." (Carlespie Mary Alice McKinney)

- END OF PART ONE -

Images The Media Shows Versus Images The Media Does Not Show

2009-01-10T11:42:00.000-08:00

This pic showed up in yesterday's Levine Breaking News. Keep it in mind when your favorite rhetorical asshole claims Israel is committing war crimes during their efforts to eliminate terrorists in Gaza.

PalinWatch 2009: It's Everybody's Fault But Hers That People Noticed She's A Dunce

2009-01-08T20:10:00.000-08:00

I really thought I was done watching people point out how stupid Sarah Palin is, but here's Keith Olbermann to prove me wrong.

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

She's such a victim! Sheesh.

Hamas Versus Israel: It's All About Faith

2009-01-06T08:53:00.000-08:00

As I listened to the news regarding the conflict between Hamas and Israeli troops this morning, I found myself wondering what I would tell a child if asked why the violence in Gaza is taking place. I'm pretty sure I would not show him or her the following from Article 7 of the Hamas Covenant, unless of course the kid was at least in the mid-to-late teens or incredibly astute.

"The Day of Judgment will not come about until Muslims fight the Jews (killing the Jews), when the Jew will hide behind stones and trees. The stones and trees will say O Muslims, O Abdullah, there is a Jew behind me, come and kill him. Only the Gharkad tree, (the Cedar tree) would not do that because it is one of the trees of the Jews."

What's amusing is that Hamas spokesmen have declared time and time again that their motivations are NOT religious in nature. What's not amusing is that people are dying, yet again, for many reasons which are but a drop of oil in an overfull lamp - and "faith" is the cow that kicks the lamp into hay, setting it ablaze.

I am often engaged in debates, arguments, and even petty bickering regarding religion's place in the world. (I do strive to stick to the first two.) I find it abhorrent that anyone would use belief that is essentially no better than belief in Zeus or Xenu in order to carry out terrorist activities. What many people don't know is that Hamas leadership was actually elected by the populace of the region and holds almost a two to one majority in parliamentary chambers.

Many in the region fear Israel is attempting to occupy Gaza. Israel's President Peres has made it clear their only intent is to crush terror. Missiles are fired into Israeli civilian areas on a daily basis, and they're sick of it. I'm pretty sure I would be as well. According to political scientist Mkhaimer Abusada, Hamas is on a clear mission to "...liberate all of historic Palestine."

In February 2006 Hamas head Khalel Mashal wanted Israel to withdraw from lands "conquered" since 1967. A few days later, he stated Israel should obey lines drawn in 1949 with the promise of a truce, but according New York Times writer Steven Erlanger, "... no one in Hamas says he would make a peace treaty with Israel or permanently give up any part of Palestine."

Dissimilar to what one would think about a state which engages in terrorism, Hamas does try to take care of their people. They build schools, hospitals, health care clinics, blood banks, and the like. Oh, and also mosques. Of course, being an atheist who has grown tired of watching religion inspire hatred, bigotry, and violence during my few short decades on this planet, I think the less of those structures constructed the better.

Hamas claims Israel’s killing copious amounts of innocent women and children during the military retaliations. Israel is certain that 80% of their targets have been terrorists, with estimates indicating five-hundred deaths and many more wounded. However, many of the claims have not been verified, and unfortunately Israel is refusing to allow international journalists into Gaza despite court rulings. I'm sure Israel's leaders have their reasons for not wanting journalists around, but I certainly have yet to hear what they are and can only imagine a combination of the best and worst that such a scenario usually portends.

One thing is clear, however; reason is never going to trump religious fervor. Try as Israel and other parts of the world might to come to terms with Hamas and to develop peaceful relations, no such thing will be long lasting as long as "the Jew" is considered the bad guy.

So, Israel will flex its muscle and kill as many terrorists they can find, while (hopefully) inflicting a minimal amount of collateral damage, and the efforts of Hamas will continue to be driven by faith derived from an ancient book of sociopathic fairy tales.

While Hamas cries that Israel is unjustified and is killing only innocents, keep this in mind:

Hamas provides financial aid including monthly allowances and other benefits to the families of suicide bombers.

Allah be praised.

Factual sources: BBC News, Hamas (Wiki)

Bill Maher's "Religulous" is online - watch it while it lasts!

2008-12-31T12:07:00.000-08:00

I don't know who uploaded this or why. Just watch it! This is one of the most important comedy/documentaries released this year. Let's hope that 2009 sees a reduction in the amount of people who use faith as a means toward violence.

Happy New Year!

Link to Part Three (Embedding Disabled)

Link to Part Six (Embedding Disabled)

Idiotic Vice-Presidential Candidate's Daughter Squeezes Out Bastard Child

2008-12-30T09:37:00.000-08:00

The "big" news yesterday evening was that Bristol Palin, daughter of evangelical non-reading dope Sarah Palin, gave birth to the kid she conceived with that self-described "fukkin' redneck" whose mother was recently arrested on drug charges.

She named her little twerp Tripp.

Tripp..... that's probably what she and the father were doing just before they had unprotected sex. (I blame the movies "Juno" and "Saved!"... but I digress.) She looks like a party girl, what with the chubby cheeks (both sets) she inherited from her mom and all. And he looks like every drug dealer I ever knew from that part of Alaska.

Not that I know a lot of drug dealers from the valley.

I'm just sayin.....!

Five Questions Every Atheist Must Answer

2008-12-22T16:59:00.001-08:00

This agitatingly deceitful YouTube video really pissed me off. Here is my retort.

1. This is a dishonest question. "God" (as described in the "bible") is believed by Christians to be a real entity. "Chance" is simply the absence of any cause of events that can be predicted. It is possible that someone will steal your wallet in New York? Yes. However, that CHANCE does not make the event LIKELY to happen; just possible. Meanwhile, the "bible" claims "god" (an impossible creature, since it is impossible for the being to be all-knowing AND to NOT know that a woman suposedly created from a man's rib would eat forbidden fruit) is REAL without ONE WHIT OF PROOF.

2. No scientist has claimed the universe exists for NO reason. Something caused it to occur - otherwise, we wouldn't be here. Also, there is no evidence that the world was MADE to support life. Rather, the life on this planet evolved in order to utilize the conditions which are available. There are creatures at the bottom of the sea which live in absolutely frigid conditions and under pressures which would crush human bodies. And yet, they do just fine. Also, morality has nothing to do with this question.

3. Morality was developed because people who lived in civilizations learned it was better to get along rather than to constantly fight. Besides, it is inferred that morality comes from "god" - morality existed LONG before humans wrote the "bible."

4. See above. It's only a problem IF you assume a "god" exists and that the texts of the "bible" are real. If you are able to ignore your brainwashed beliefs, you understand how dishonest you're being in this video.

5. Complex organisms do not pop up out of nowhere. It takes at least a millenium for such things to develop from single-celled organisms. Your analogy regarding the bullseye is ludicrous. Once again, you misunderstand the point of atheism. It is not based on unproven conjecture. Instead, it is based on observed fact.

Summation: You are a fucking fool.

NO evidence; NO god. It's that simple.

Attention Christians: Give me some money!

2008-11-15T18:01:00.000-08:00

If you claim to be Christian, it is vitally important that you read the following three verses of your religious book.

Give to him that asketh thee, and from him that would borrow of thee turn not thou away.

Give to every man that asketh of thee; and of him that taketh away thy goods ask them not again."

But love ye your enemies, and do good, and lend, hoping for nothing again; and your reward shall be great, and ye shall be the children of the Highest: for he is kind unto the unthankful and to the evil.

Now, I am ASKING you to GIVE me some money. I don't want a loan. I want you to GIVE me some money. As a sign of good faith, I will promise to pay you back if I become a millionaire by the year 2010.

Here's a handy PayPal button so you can make your gift via credit-card.

You have to do it. Otherwise, you're not a good Christian.

Thanks so much.

"The non-believers prayers are not heard at all"

2008-11-13T14:42:00.000-08:00

Well, duh. Last time I checked, "non-believers" didn't pray in the first place.

I sometimes exercise my brain by debating religious nutjobs. Today I'm using prayer to exemplify the bible's lies.... and YES, the fun is all happening on that bastion of intelligence, YouTube.

truthisstillthetruth - Jesus said, I am the Way, the Truth, and the Life, no man comes unto the Father but by me.

Act 16:31 Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ and you will be saved.

ricksparks - The "bible" also states, quite clearly, that all who believe WILL have their prayers GRANTED.

Not that the prayers will be considered; that they will be GRANTED.

How do you religious fools account for the fact that all prayers are NOT granted? Do you realize the idiocy of continuing to believe in a "god" which doesn't even follow the rules of what is generally considered to be "his" (her? its?) rulebook?

truthisstillthetruth - prayers of the believer are answered, sometimes the Lord says no. He knows what is best for us, The non-believers prayers are not heard at all untill it is the sinners prayer of repentence and that will be granted. Ask and you will receive Salvation.

ricksparks - Once again, I (an atheist) have to correct you.

Matthew 21 21-22 - All things you ask in prayer, believing, you will receive.

It doesn't say you MIGHT receive. It says CLEARLY you WILL receive.

You should read the book you claim to follow. You might be surprised at how far off your belief system truly is. I suspect you never have. I'd wager you base your belief on what a preacher or pastor tells you.

Things I Have Learned At Age Forty-One

2008-11-10T11:44:00.000-08:00

Today is my forty-first birthday. I hope you find this list of thoughts as fun to read as I had while putting it together.

Listen closely to people who wave their hands wildly while speaking. They're probably trying to trick you.

People who are inconsiderate enough to listen to loud music in small apartments will rarely be accomodating when you ask them to turn it down. Amusingly, some will cheerfully offer to turn down just the bass, which of course only makes the din sound worse. At worst, they'll make you involve building management and/or the police.

When gas prices are higher there are less lunatics to avoid on the road.

I lived in a predominately Hispanic area of downtown Los Angeles for about a year. Every Sunday morning around 9am a street vendor would startle me from my sleep when he'd stand beyond the building's gate and yell, "Tamales! Tamales!" I hated him deeply but admired his tenacity.

A person who is unkind to small animals is not to be trusted.

I recently dreamt that Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt interviewed me for a role in a film production of "Atlas Shrugged." I must really want to do some acting.

When I was ten I wanted to be a fireman and a comedian. When I was twenty I wanted to be a rock star. When I was thirty I wanted to be in a happier marriage. When I was forty I realized I was a comedian/stage performer, a writer, and an instrumental music composer. I still want to be a fireman, but I'm not in good enough shape to pass the physical (yet!).

All organized religion, whether it be Islam, Christianity, astrology, etc., is for suckers.

A person who votes against the civil rights of others based on sexual preference or skin pigmentation bears an inner ugliness I'll never understand.

Most animals are excellent at judging character.

Money isn't necessary for true happiness, but it sure is nice to be able to buy all the shit you want.

Many people are hypocrites. Still, they have their individual charms.

Two hours in a hot bath is worth more than a one-week vacation.

My girlfriend's smile makes me feel like I'm much younger than I am.

People who ride bicycles on crowded sidewalks are inconsiderate jerks. "On your left!" indeed, sunshine. I'm walkin' here!

No matter what I eat beforehand, Coors Light gives me diarrhea.

Every missed opportunity to hug the people you love the most is a crying shame.

Those who steal pensions and salaries from folks who are less financially-adept should be drawn and quartered in the streets.

Even bad movies can be a great source of amusement. But bad music? It is an unforgivable assault.

Life's too short to be involved with unreasonable people. I'd rather have two good friends than twenty obnoxious acquaintances.

People who do not look you in the eye when shaking hands either dislike you or despise themselves.

If I eat only when I know exactly what I want I find myself eating much less and feeling more healthy.

I feel sorry for people in apartment buildings who don't say "Hello" to one another in passing.

Women who use men as personal ATM cards will always be ugly to me, no matter what they look like on the outside.

The state of California has license plates for those who contribute money toward certain oceanic conservation efforts. Every time I've seen a car with one of the plates the driver has been a complete menace to everyone else on the road.

I must be doing something right; I still get carded at bars.

David Letterman: Top Ten New Revelations About Sarah Palin

2008-11-07T12:24:00.000-08:00

The Presidential Election Is Over

2008-11-05T10:19:00.000-08:00

This coming Monday is my forty-first birthday. I already have what I've wanted.....

President-elect Barack Obama - by a landslide.

I was a late-hour voter. I had not seriously considered submitting my votes by mail because until this past weekend I was still unsure which positions to take regarding many issues on the California ballot. As I parked the car last night, reports had started coming in from the east. Obama was expected to take Pennsylvania. McCain was expected to take North Carolina. Indiana was still a toss-up. Florida was leaning toward Obama. Kentucky looked like McCain country.

I was surprised to find only a few people in front of me in line to vote. Only ten hours earlier, when I was on my way to work and I drove past the building I was to vote at, the line had wrapped around the block. I suppose most of my neighbors voted in advance and during morning hours so they wouldn't have to stand in what could have been long evening lines. Over the weekend, the local news reports indicated people had waited two, three, even five hours to participate in early voting. I was ready for the long haul. Instead, I was in and out in less than twelve minutes.

After voting I arrived home just before 7pm. My girlfriend and I tried watching the news, but because the Presidential election projections were still based upon percentages that were too small to take for granted we avoided the reports.

While my girlfriend watched the ladies on "The View" deal with that idiot Elisabeth Hasselbeck I hunkered down on the couch to lackadaisically watch the results come in via internet on my laptop computer while enjoying a Jack Daniels and Heineken Draught boilermaker - by the way, those five-liter Heineken cans with taps they sell in grocery stores now? Awesome!

After her show was over we loaded up last Friday's "Real Time with Bill Maher." Bill's first guest was Michael Moore. Moments into the interview I glanced at the headlines on reddit.com....

McCain Conceding Now

My heart raced.

Me: "McCain is conceding right now."

My girlfriend: "What??"

We turned on the news. I loaded up MSNBC's election map. Obama in the 300s. McCain barely over 170.

The news: "Barack Obama has been elected to be the 44th President of the United States."

YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sorry, Joe the plumber who's not licensed to be one and is nowhere near being able to afford the purchase of a business which clears over a quarter-million in after-expenses profit. Sorry, Sarah "Birth Control Is Baby Murder!" Palin. Sorry, John "I'm Running An Honest Campaign - Except For The Parts That Are Completely Dishonest" McCain. A clear majority of our nation has stated, quite clearly, that we will not tolerate bigotry, deception, and injustice from our political representatives at this time in our country's history.

To be fair, John McCain's concession speech was admirable. He urged the country to come together under Obama and avoided last-minute whining. I knew the John McCain I liked from before this past year was still in there somewhere.

When Barack Obama and his family took the stage I felt my eyes water. I glanced at the book atop my enertainment center titled "The World's Great Speeches" and wondered if his first speech as President-elect would be included in a future revision.

I don't have children at this point, but if/when I do, I look forward to telling them about the day I watched Barack Obama become President of my country.

VOTE!

2008-11-04T09:41:00.001-08:00

VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE!

Bill Maher Nails The Reason Many So-Called "Christians" Support Israel

2008-11-03T12:41:00.001-08:00

Why I Hate Organized Religion: (What Feels Like) Part Six-Million, Three-Hundred, and Twelve

2008-11-03T11:33:00.000-08:00

From today's LBN Breaking News:

"A 13-year-old girl who said she had been raped was stoned to death in Somalia after being accused of adultery by Islamic militants, a human rights group said. Dozens of men stoned Aisha Ibrahim Duhulow to death Oct. 27 in a stadium packed with 1,000 spectators in the southern port city of Kismayo, Amnesty International and Somali media reported, citing witnesses. The Islamic militia in charge of Kismayo had accused her of adultery after she reported that three men had raped her, the rights group said."

I've debated incidents such as this in the past with those who rush to the defense of religion; they either try to brand this kind of thing as an example of the effects of the wrong religion, or they claim it is merely evil perpetrated by people who use religion incorrectly. However, they fail to realize that the edicts contained in the Qu'ran related to this horrific event are also clearly written in the Old Testament of the so-called "Holy Bible."

PalinWatch 2008: Sarah Gets Punked

2008-11-01T19:26:00.000-07:00

The fact that Sarah Palin does not recognize that the person on the phone with her is not the President of France speaks VOLUMES about her lack of political savvy.

In the words of Bugs Bunny: "What a maroon!"

PalinWatch 2008: Sarah Thinks It's Unconstitutional For Politicians To Be Criticized

2008-10-31T11:40:00.000-07:00

Over the past week I've wondered if Sarah Palin would find a way to further agitate my sensiblities. I figured, with less than a week until the Presidential Election, that she was done coming up with new things to be completely wrong about and would only repeat the idiocy which we've already witnessed and heard thus far.

Well, looky what we have here.... from Salon.com, with references to ABC News:

"Somehow, in Sarah Palin's brain, it's a threat to the First Amendment when newspapers criticize her negative attacks on Barack Obama."

"'If [the media] convince enough voters that that is negative campaigning, for me to call Barack Obama out on his associations,' Palin told host Chris Plante, 'then I don't know what the future of our country would be in terms of First Amendment rights and our ability to ask questions without fear of attacks by the mainstream media.'"

"This isn't only about profound ignorance regarding our basic liberties, though it is obviously that. Palin here is also giving voice to the standard right-wing grievance instinct: that it's inherently unfair when they're criticized. And now, apparently, it's even unconstitutional."

My goodness is she dumb. A lot.

Don't Vote - Part Two

2008-10-29T16:19:00.001-07:00

A Message From Danny Elfman (Yes, That Danny Elfman) About Sarah Palin

2008-10-29T09:17:00.000-07:00

From OurGreatestFear.org:

"These are dangerous, critical times. A vote for McCain for president, is far too likely to leave us with an unpredictable wildcard at the helm of the most powerful country on Earth."

"I'm dedicating myself to OurGreatestFear.org because I don't want to ever look back on this moment and regret not doing all I could to stop a possible Sarah Palin presidency - do you?"

"If you are following the polls and feel that everything is ok, please think again. The polls are encouraging, but volatile. And although it seems amazing that anyone at this point hasn't made up their minds, there are still an unprecedented number of uncommitted voters in too many crucial states that can still tip either way." -- Danny Elfman

More Hateful Audacity From McCain/Palin Supporters

2008-10-28T14:12:00.000-07:00

Another McCain/Palin rally gathering from yesterday - this time in Pottsville, Pennsylvania - and another batch of racist and/or ignorant nutjobs.

SNL: George Bush Endorses John McCain And Meets Sarah Palin

2008-10-24T11:01:00.000-07:00

PalinWatch 2008: Sarah And Her Running Mate Don't Think Abortion Clinic Bombers Are Terrorists

2008-10-24T10:00:00.000-07:00

From Dictionary.com:

terrorism: the use of violence and threats to intimidate or coerce, esp. for political purposes

I'm rarely surprised when self-professed "pro-lifers" such as Sarah Palin indirectly condone or support violent activities carried out by people who are willfully ignorant of the science related to human reproduction. I'm even less surprised when such support comes from those who consider themselves "Christian" - although, I'm pretty sure you'd be hard pressed to find a passage in the so-called "Holy Bible" where the character Jesus killed anyone and/or bombed an opponent's place of work in order to defend his position on abortion.

When Brian Williams of NBC News asked Sarah Palin during her recent joint interview with John McCain if those who bomb abortion clinics should be defined as terrorists, this is what she had to say:

“I don’t know if you’re going to use the word ‘terrorist’ there. It’s unacceptable, and it would not be condoned, of course, on our watch. But if what you’re asking is if I regret referring to Bill Ayers as an unrepenting domestic terrorist, I don’t regret characterizing him as that.” Source: MSNBC.com

So, there you have it - straight from the candidate's mouth. If you think your religion gives you the right to damage property and/or people just because you disagree with what is a clear civil right of others, you can rest assured that a McCain/Palin administration won't toss you to Guantanamo Bay or put you on a no-fly list. Oh, and never mind the fact that Palin is mischaracterizing Professor Ayers - most know that the constant references to him by the McCain campaign are designed to stoke the irrational fears of those who don't have the ability or desire to research the man's deeds and actions themselves and to draw their own conclusions.

Just before Palin provided her brilliantly obtuse answer to what is, even to most Christians, an obvious answer (Yes! Of COURSE people who bomb abortion clinics are terrorists!), John McCain had finished another spewing of the tired smear that his political opponent, Barack Obama, has a relationship with Bill Ayers that is unsavory. The problem with that is, as David Letterman pointed out last week, McCain himself has had many ties to people who could also be rightly called terrorists. Of course, his running mate is also no angel; her husband has been an active member of an Alaska secessionist party which was led by a man who declared incredible hatred for the United States, and just this year she recorded a video for the group indicating she, as Governor of Alaska, appreciated what she called their good work for the state.

... but I digress. Let's get back to the one on her team who is running for President.

John McCain is tied to G. Gordon Liddy of the Watergate scandal, an ex-con who encouraged the shooting of law enforcement in the head. Charles Keating is a despicable fraudster who could easily be described as a financial terrorist. As recently as 1988, just one year before the Arizona senator was chastised for making bad judgements with regard to his involvement in the Keating Five scandal, John McCain actually provided personal funds to the guerilla group known as the Contras.

From the Huffington Post:

A congressional committee confirmed at the time that the Contras 'raped, tortured and killed unarmed civilians, including children' and that 'groups of civilians, including pregnant women and children were burned, dismembered, blinded and beheaded.'"

"They raped nurses and teachers, slaughtered doctors, in the most brutal manner. They behaved like savages."

If that's not terrorism, I don't know what is.

I wonder; since she's such a staunch anti-abortionist, would Sarah have wanted those raped women and children to carry to term any pregnancies which ensued? That is, if any of the victims were left alive to do so.

Science Vs. Religion (Comic)

2008-10-23T16:46:00.000-07:00

I found this little comic much too priceless to not share. Click the pic for the full-size version.

An Election Message from Opie, Sheriff Andy, Richie, and The Fonz

2008-10-23T13:33:00.000-07:00

See more Ron Howard videos at Funny or Die